A father missing his son

World has many wonders for us in every phase of life. Once of it is becoming dad. It is an amazing feeling being a father.  My son, Manur deva who is 1 year 10 months now is the gift of my life.

First time when my Manu (my son) cried during vaccination, I felt the pain in my heart. I cried without showing my face to doctor.  And later, in several occasions when he cried during ear piercing function or whenever he hurts himself severely, I tend to get tears in my eyes. My friends/family know me as tough guy but deep inside, I think I am so tender. Or I don’t know if this is a common trait among dads but it never comes out so openly. Or maybe this could be evolution of next gen dadas. 

First time, when Manu called me ‘appa’ (dad), you should feel the height of happiness flowing in my body. Man, I have seen this scene in movies but never felt a thing then. Manu is quick to grasp things. His interest lies in automobiles, the sound it creates & he is more interested in wheels; how it rotates. First word from his mouth was ‘ball’. When we go for walking daily, I used repeat all the vehicle names, showing street light in the road. Asking him to repeat after me. We will be highly excited when he suddenly repeats after you.
We got him baby’s first 100 words book. He was more into car, van, vehicles etc., Its a guy thing. He used to ask me names of each of it again & again repeatedly, like 50-100 times a day. In due course, He started repeating first syllable in each word with me. He identified almost all the vehicles in that book. Soon, we had to get him more books with pictures of vegetables, vehicles, animals’ categories. My wife got him an animal rhyme CD which is his favourite till now. He quickly learnt all the animal names & identified them in any place.

Recently, Manu started serving me food during dinner. He would ask me softly ‘buvva’ (food) with shaking his head up & down. It would be so cute that you would love to say yes even if you are not hungry. Then he goes & asks my mother or my wife whoever is preparing food. Until they come out with food, he would nag them with ‘appa, buvva’ words. When eating he would sit beside me as ask me if I need ‘kai’ (vegetables) and serve me with his tiny hands & spoon , dropping few to the floor & serving it exactly in veg place in plate. One day he was feeding me veggies, I was so full after that. I dint stop him as I loved him doing it but ended with heavy stomach J. The other day he served ‘sambar’ until it was overflowing my plate. When my wife encountered him asking what about mommy, he said ‘dont’, ‘wait’ etc., avoiding her. Haha it was funny for me.

In old times, dads were seen as scary person and moms used to threaten their children with dire consequences when they don’t do their homework or due to any misbehaviour. Unlike today, in old times, there were more joint families than nuclear families or atleast all your relatives, extended family would be in close proximity so that your child gets more time with them than you. Nuclear family vs joint family could also be a reason here where dad gets more connection with the child than in those times where kids will be with grand parents or with any relatives. In many cases, Dad’s won’t know even the class/section of his kid which was common in those times. When you change the diaper, take him to school, part, playground, malls, etc., there seems to grow connection between dad & kid. 

I remember watching a debate once in TV channel. The topic: @Which is highest ecstasy of happiness being a loving parent or at the receiving end as a child@. The conclusion saw the winner as being a parent & pampering children than being pampered.  I was wondering how it will turn out for me then. Now, I can say that being a parent is a blessing, a real ecstasy in life.

I am writing this as I am missing my son dearly now. Due to unforeseen circumstances he is away from me for a while. And  I am missing him so much !!